Update

O.K., so it's been a while . . . it's been a hectic week. For the record, I do have more going on in my life than this match.com stuff, but I just don't have time to write about everything, and some of it, I really can't write about anyway, for a variety of reasons. So, right now, I'm going to concentrate on this online dating journey, because frankly, there's enough going on there to fill a book already . . . and it's only been a week! As I think I mentioned before, I could make a second career out of this if I was so inclined. I'm still trying to feel my way through the process, and to be honest, it's a little overwhelming.

Let's start with some stats, as of right now:

Number of times my profile has been viewed: 492
Number of winks I've received: 64
Number of e-mails I've received: 49
Number of e-mails I've received that I haven't read yet: 17
Number of people I initated contact with myself: 8
Number of people I initated contact with who have responded: 5 (The other 3 haven't been logged on to the site for weeks.)
Number of people with whom I've been actively exchanging e-mails: about 7
Number of people with whom I've talked to on the phone: 3
Number of dates so far: 2 (More on these later.)

So, in this process, as in so many processes in life, patterns are starting to emerge, and frankly, it's kind of disheartening. I can basically break down the people who contact me into three categories, and they're pretty evenly distributed. They are as follows:

1. Total duds. These are guys whose profiles present them as both unattractive and uninteresting. I get the feeling that a lot of them are playing the numbers game--basically, getting in touch with every woman on Match and seeing what shakes out. I am not going to shake out. Sorry.

2. Good-looking guys who have nothing interesting whatsoever going on in their profiles. As an example, here's the profile text of the best-looking guy who contacted me:

I have alot of different activities I enjoy doing, anything outdoors, dinner, movies, theater. I'm looking for someone special to do them with. I'd like to meet someone who's easy going likes to have fun and enjoy life. Must also have a big heart

Um, that's great. So, you enjoy "dinner"? Do you enjoy candlelight and walks on the beach, too? How about breathing--do you enjoy that? I don't mean to sound bitter (already!), but seriously, try a little originality and individuality! It's funny, too--there's a sidebar where you can list, separately, what you like to do, and yet another spot to list your favorite things. This guy's responses? "Anything outdoors, dinner, movies, theater." Yeah, he listed these same things twice in the sidebar, for a total of three times overall. O.K., dude, I get it. Frankly, I don't care how good-looking the guy is--I'm not going to respond to a profile like that. I'd fall asleep before hitting the Reply button.

3. Guys with interesting/quirky/original/intriguing profiles . . . who are, unfortunately, completely unattractive. I guess here's where I come across as shallow and/or vain, but I'm sorry . . . I'm not going to contact a guy who looks like a 55-year-old Drew Carey with possible liver disease. It's really frustrating, actually--I'll read someone's e-mail, and it totally cracks me up, it's witty and original, it's grammatically correct (a major turn-on to me!), it's flattering in a light-hearted way . . . and then I click on the profile and see the guy's photo, and--no. Just no. It can be such a disappointment, but if there's no attraction whatsoever, then what's the point?

So, that's where we stand. It's not like there are no viable prospects whatsoever, but there's nothing terribly exciting going on either. I am having a very interesting e-mail exchange with this one guy . . . who happens to live in Alaska at the moment. He's a geologist and park ranger who's based in Columbus but gets stationed at different places for a couple of months at a time. He's even done stints in Antarctica, and he's been to every continent and sailed every ocean, and we're doing a lot of exchanging of traveling stories right now. I'm looking forward to meeting him when he comes home in September, so there's that.

Recaps on the actual dates to come . . . .