I swore I wasn't going to do this, but . . .

I realize it's probably ill-advised to reproduce photos from Match.com--I'm sure that, if discovered, I could get sued or something. But really, who's going to find out? None of my 10 or so readers are going to report me, I'm fairly certain. And I swear I'm not going to make this a regular thing (as tempting as it may be to do so) . . . but I just have to share the two photos that accompany this one guy who winked at me today. (Also, you really can't tell who he is from these photos anyway. Just bear with me.)


O.K., so here's the first photo:



So, dude--thanks for sharing this pic you obviously took of yourself casually with your cell phone in the back seat of your buddy's car. Nice glasses. Makes it pretty tough to really know what you look like, but that's O.K. . . . I'm sure your next photo will be more revealing.

(And, oh boy, is it ever! Wait for it . . . wait for it. . . . )

The next and only other photo:








Yeah, I know--yum!! But at the same time--yuck!! Is this an online dating site, or a repository for porn applications? I like how he's completely objectified himself by cutting his own head off in the photo and just showing . . . um, the good stuff. I gotta say, in my three weeks of perusing various profiles, I've seen some shirtless shots here and there (many of which, by the way, should never have been posted), but this is the first one I've encountered in which the subject has deliberately decapitated himself. Does he really have no idea how this comes off? I suspect not. And when I don't respond to his wink, I'll be just another stuck-up bitch who doesn't know what she's missing. (Sorry, I don't actually know the guy, but I suspect I can extrapolate his thought process nonetheless.)

I must say, though, that if and when this guy ever gets a date as a result of these photos, I would love to be a fly on the wall during that encounter. Of course, I could always rent a porno that features some lame attempt at a storyline and probably get the same experience . . . .