. . . well, for one thing, more sleep. After eight years of a steady 9-to-5 (or, sometimes, 8-to-6) job, I've finally reached the point where I can't sleep in anymore. Don't get me wrong--this was never a goal, it just happened. I've become so accustomed to getting up at a certain time every morning (which, lately, is about 6:00) that, even on the weekends, I can't seem to sleep past 7:00 or maybe 8:00 if I'm lucky. I've always known people--even people without children!--who experience this, but I've never understood it. Sure, you might naturally wake up at a certain time because your body's used to it, but why not just go back to sleep? For many years, I was able to do this, but no more. Lately I've found that as soon as I wake up, my mind starts to race--I just start thinking about stuff, and it's impossible to get back to sleep. Is this just a part of getting older? Teenagers and young adults can sleep like the dead; older people, not so much. So, apparently I've moved into the category of "older people." I'm trying to look at this as a positive thing, though, for two reasons--one, I need to appreciate the fact that I have interesting things going on in my life to think about, and two, waking up early gives me more time to get stuff done.
But anyway, that's not what this post is about. I'm totally ripping off an idea I got from another blog. (I would link to this other blog, but I can't find it now. I do a lot of blog-trolling, and I lost track of which one I saw this on . . . oh well.) Anyway, the idea is to Google your name with "needs" after it (e.g., "Heather needs") and see what pops up. I totally recommend trying this at home, kids--everyone enjoys the narcissistic experience of Googling their own name, right? (Well, except child molesters, I guess, and other assorted criminals . . . but I digress.)
Anyhoo, here are my top five "needs," according to Google. This totally cracked me up.
Heather Needs Men . . . Now!
Heather needs to start wearing a brassiere
Heather Needs Two Therapists
Heather needs something more to be satisfied
Heather Needs Gatorade
So, apparently, the Heathers out there in Googleland tend to be slutty, thirsty, unfulfilled, and in serious need of therapy. (Two therapists are needed! One won't do!) Hmmm.
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5 comments:
Apparently--
David needs a wash--or at least a dry clean.
David needs better living through blogging. (Tru dat!)
David needs to do further investigations. (of what . . .?)
David really needs a date. (I guess getting the wash first will help with this one.)
David needs to rise up against Goliath. (Sigh . . . again?)
That was fun! Thanks!
Better than I Ching:
Sven needs:
1. to know the 8 golden rules of adultery.
2. money to spend.
3. to start thinking outside the box.
4. many things to grow.
5. to get a grip – technology isn’t going away.
6. to edit his page!
7. to clear his head and go for a walk and discover the escaped bioweapon watching pigeons in the park.
8. etiquette lessons.
9. to not be so orange.
10. one large and four small boxes for his spaceship.
I guess Karen needs....
...to grow up (like I haven't heard that before!)
...to move (far, far, away!)
...coffee (try miller lite)
...a new blog (how about just a blog period!)
...new batteries.... (ummm....no comment.)
:-)
apparently, the only things i need are a permanent home and you. at least that's what google says. go figure. i feel like i just had my palm read by some eerily accurate gypsy.
Heather needs men... Those were the days...
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