Chuck Sucks

Here in the Heartland, we're in the middle of a major winter storm today. It snowed pretty steadily for two days, and then last night, we got freezing rain on top of it all, followed by a steep temperature drop, followed by more snow. What this means in practical terms is that I knew my place of employment would either be closed today or, at the very least, running on a delay. Extrapolating further on this set of circumstances, I should have been able to sleep in today--yes?

No.

At 6:30 this morning, something woke me up. A noise outside my window. An awful, continuous, scraping noise. Scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape. It went on and on. I roused myself to look out the window, and there was my neighbor, Chuck (who lives in the apartment formerly occupied by Hippie Neighbors), shoveling the walkway in front of our building. At 6:30 in the morning.

You know that awful feeling, where something is happening that just annoys the crap out of you, and you know there's nothing you can do about it, and you just sit there seething quietly, obsessing about how much better your life would be if this particular thing was not happening? And then your quiet seething turns to fantasies about hitting a particular person over the head with, oh, say, a snow shovel? This was how my day began. (It should be noted that 6:30 is considerably earlier than I get up on a regular day, let alone a glorious snow day when I should be allowed to sleep in.)

And so I lay there, hating Chuck and missing Hippie Neighbors, who never would have undertaken this particular task--or any task, for that matter--at 6:30 in the friggin' morning. Why? Why did he have to shovel that early? Why? It's like those people who mow their lawns in the early hours on a weekend. Does no one stop to consider that they're not the only people living on their block? To top it all off, you can't say anything and piss off a neighbor, because who knows when you might need them to bring in your mail or rush you to the emergency room or something?

Eventually, I got over it, got up, made some coffee, and watched Chuck out the window. Scrape, scrape, scrape. It took him half an hour. I wondered about the other neighbors, whether he'd woken anyone else up, whether they'd been as annoyed as I was. And then I thought I might forgive Chuck if he also shoveled my part of the walkway. The walkway in front of our building comes up from the street and branches off into a Y, with one part leading to the apartments of Chuck and the Asian woman on the end of the building, and the other part leading to the apartments of yours truly and They Who Are Never Seen. Since TWANS are an older couple, and I'm just a girl*, I thought it would be nice if big strong early-rising Chuck shoveled our part of the walkway as well. But no. He shoveled just his own part of the Y, and then retreated back into his apartment. Selfish, selfish Chuck.

(As it turns out, even if Chuck hadn't woken me up at 6:30, I would have been woken up around 7:05 by Guy Who Took an Hour and Fifteen Minutes to Get His Piece of Crap Car Out of Its Parking Spot on the Street and Almost Hit My Car in the Process. More on this saga later, maybe.)

*Of course I was kidding about the "just a girl" thing, but the truth is, I don't own a snow shovel.