So, here it is Friday evening, and I'm blogging. WTF, you ask? Shouldn't I be at happy hour? Why yes, in fact, usually I would be. In fact, I can't remember the last time I stayed home on a Friday night. But frankly, I'm exhausted. Work has been kicking my ass lately--not in a bad way, and in fact it's kind of exciting, but it's tiring. Also, I'm kind of happy-houred out tonight. Currently, I've got . . . let's see, about five different happy-hour groups going on, and so I've been going out a lot during the week. (We don't all go out every week, but it adds up.) Despite this, I still make it a rule to walk my dog for about 45 minutes a night (every night! Seriously!), so that adds to the tiredness. And it's not just physical tiredness--I'm also worn out on social interaction in general. So, I'm staying in tonight. And it's going to be awesome. The evening's plans are as follows:
1. Walk Josie (of course). We've been going on our walks a little later recently, now that it's light out til late. This way, we avoid the bulk of the other dog-walkers. I like them and all, but we want to walk, not stand around chatting. (This alludes to a whole other theme, by the way--the way a lot of people do not actually walk their dogs, but instead stand around at the park for a while while their dog maybe runs around and maybe just lies at their feet, getting no exercise. But I digress.)
2. Come home and fix myself some roasted garlic and chicken ravioli and drink wine.
3. Maybe blog again??? If not, read the awesome novel I'm into right now. (Review to come.)
4. Watch the season finale of my favorite show, which is, as we all know, Law & Order. (Just to clarify--I am not staying home in order to watch Law & Order; it's just a happy coincidence that the season finale happens to be on tonight.) While watching, I plan on eating some dark chocolate M&Ms, which may very well be the greatest invention of the last year and which I take total credit for.*
5. Play some online poker, hopefully while chatting with my male BFF, who also plays online. (I have a male BFF and a female BFF. They know who they are. Hi, you two!)
6. Go to bed at a decent time in order to get up and actually get something done tomorrow, for a friggin' change.
So, that's the plan. And now, I must go execute the first part and walk the dog. But first, before I forget . . .
Today I called the vet to schedule an appointment for one of my cats to get his shots. My vet's office is always extremely busy and so, of course, I was put on hold. When you're on hold with my vet, you get treated to this woman's voice talking constantly, plugging the various services the vet's office has to offer. Two things about her spiel today struck me:
1. She was going on about how, if your pet is over seven years old, a lot of shit (not her word) can happen that you're not even aware of. And so, you should bring your pet in every six months for a checkup. Um, right. This struck me as a scam in line with the three-month oil change, and it just ain't gonna happen. Are you kidding me? I have three pets--I would be bringing one of them in every other month! I don't get checkups myself that often--not nearly that often! These people are insane.
2. Need further proof of their insanity? She was also extolling the virtues of their new website, which is--I'm not kidding you--http://www.caninesemenbank.com/. Let me set the scene. I had the recording on speaker phone at work, and I was doing some other stuff and not really paying attention. Then all of a sudden, I hear this woman talking about how they were changing the course of reproduction. Since I was on hold with the vet, this naturally caught my attention. It's not as dramatic and freakish as it sounds, of course, but apparently, you can now freeze your male dog's semen and/or have your female dog impregnated by previously frozen semen. There are so many things wrong with this, I don't even know where to begin. First and foremost, I guess, is the question--what the hell is wrong with breeding dogs the old-fashioned way, i.e., just letting them have sex with each other as they will no doubt do if given the chance? (Although I must go on record as saying that, officially, I am against any kind of dog breeding at all until every dog and puppy in every pound and shelter in this country is adopted. Please adopt animals, people!) And second, there are so many things going on here that I do not want to think about--e.g., How do they collect this semen? How do they impregnate these dogs? What is wrong with these people? You know, stuff like that.
O.K., speaking of dogs, I'm off to do a totally normal thing and take mine for a walk. Enjoy your Friday night, whatever you may be doing.
*I take credit because I wrote to the M&M people about a year ago suggesting that they make dark chocolate M&Ms, and voila! They have. Yes, my narcissism really does run this deep at times.
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5 comments:
Dark chocolate, Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
Thanks.
Heather,
I am the demanding commentator who has recently become a loyal reader. Your musings are extremely interesting and I check your blog daily. By the way you do know me, I was sitting on your left. ;)
anon--Thanks for the compliments, but you can't be the guy on my left. If I recall, I gave him my number, and you haven't called me, so it can't be you.
"Heath" you did give me your number (which, by the way I need again if you are willing to give it,because I seem to lack the abililty to properly enter a # in my phone)- I am not sure what else I Can tell you to demonstrate my identity - You told me I was playing too many hands - also the guy on your right, "moose", I believe, was extremely amusing in his patronizing comments - I thought you were going to smack him. "N"
N--I didn't really not believe you, I was just chastising you for not calling. My number is 614-284-9288.
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