This Is Your Blog on Drugs

Ah, sweet sweet vicodin, my wonderful, pain-numbing friend.

I now believe that the pain relief I thought I got from the prednisone was all in my head. Or coincidental--this pain seems to have a mind of its own, and it comes and goes as it pleases, with no regard for what I do physically. I don't need to bend or stretch a certain way to bring it on. Sometimes lying down a certain way makes it go away, and sometimes it doesn't. There is no rhyme or reason.

But even this all-powerful pain is no match for the vicodin that I finally got yesterday, after calling my doctor on a Saturday morning and practically begging him to prescribe it, which he finally did.

What happened was, at some point early on Saturday morning I rolled over in bed, which, as I've mentioned, is a risky proposition these days. Usually I just wake up briefly with a bit of pain, get comfortable again, and go back to sleep. Not this time. As I rolled over, I felt a tremendous jolt in my right hip that shot down my leg--it felt like an actual electric shock. I don't even know how to describe it--it was scary painful, like some permanent damage had been done. And then, it became quickly evident that the pain had invited itself in and made itself a cup of tea and planned to stay for a while. It was unbearable. That's when I made the call and got the drugs that I'm on right now as I write this (so forgive me if this post is a little scattered).

And believe me, the drugs do help, but they're a mixed blessing. All of yesterday, instead of working as I had planned, I kept myself on the maximum dosage just to keep the pain away. And did basically nothing else but lie on the couch and watch TV and sleep--that's all I could do. And while I'm a big fan of lying around and being lazy on occasion, it's much better when one does that by choice . . . and this was not my choice. It was my stupid back that made me spend my day that way, and I'm getting really sick of this shit.

So today, I stuck to the minimum dose and was actually able to leave my apartment, but there was a trade-off. Although I wasn't totally whacked out, and I was able to go to brunch and for a walk in the park with a friend, I was in pain all day. It wasn't anything like yesterday morning, and it wasn't unbearable, but it was there. So, when my friend left a little while ago, I popped another pill--and I'm afraid, dear readers, that I'll be fading fast here and will have to sign off shortly.

To be honest, this choice I'm having to face lately between either not being in pain or being a productive person is starting to freak my out. It can't go on indefinitely. And it's only a matter of time, I'm sure, before I drive everyone around me insane with the constant bitching about it. So, I'm going to call my doctor tomorrow, put my foot down, and just demand an MRI, since he is apparently not going to suggest one. I want to get to the bottom of this thing once and for all. Much to the relief of all of you, I'm sure.

O.K., eyes are drooping, brain is mushing out. Going to go enjoy some pain-free oblivion for a while.