Laundro-Adventures

Well, it's Sunday afternoon, and I can't put it off any longer--I have to go to the laundromat. Of course, I am actually putting it off by writing this blog entry . . . but that's a better reason for putting it off than trying to squeeze in one more episode of Law & Order first. So, my afternoon is settled: (1) blog entry; (2) laundromat; (3) no Law & Order. Glad I've got that all sorted out.

I have to go today because of the universal laundry economic indicator--i.e., how many clean pairs of underwear one has left in relation to condition, time, and willingness and ability to instead just buy more underwear. It's a simple formula, really. Let's study an example:
Number of pairs of clean underwear I have left: 2
Number of pairs of clean underwear I have left that I wouldn't be embarassed to be caught wearing in the event of an auto accident: 0
Ability to go to Target and buy more underwear: High
Willingness to go to Target and buy more underwear: Very low
Necessity of going to the laundromat today: Very high

Going to the laundromat is something I now have to do periodically, ever since the Major Life Event. At first, it was horribly depressing. After all, I was used to having my own washer and dryer in the basement, with a clothesline and folding table, etc., all very convenient. And the whole process of dragging everything out to the car, having to pay for every wash and dry, worrying about whether the machine is going to rip my clothes to shreds or whether someone else left a pen (or something worse) in the washer, and then hauling everything home while trying not to drop anything on the ground or wrinkle it . . . all of that is definitely a pain. I dread it.

However, going to the laundromat does have its advantages. First and foremost, I get everything done in a couple of hours, as opposed to the process dragging out all day (or over the course of several days). Also, I do not have the option of leaving the clothes in the dryer (or even the washer) overnight and having to deal with a wrinkled mess later. You have to get in and out of there--you have to just get it over with.

Another advantage of the laundromat, albeit a subtle one that not everyone would appreciate, is the adventures you can have there, the drama you might witness. It's a good opportunity to observe people from the sidelines, and I get a lot of story ideas from these folks.

I should mention that, on purpose, I go to the local laundro-bar. I'm sure you've seen these--the glorious combination of laundromat and bar that was inevitable in the grand scheme of human progress. Granted, in many ways, these laundro-bars are actually worse than regular laundromats--they're generally dirtier, and the machines are frequently broken. But you have to take into consideration the clientele, who are just so much more interesting than the usual laundro-crowd, which generally consists of sweatpants-clad college students reading magazines and drinking coffee.

The laundro-bar, on the other hand, attracts some characters. Some examples of stuff I've experienced there over the past several weeks:

1. Witnessing three domestic disturbances in the laundro-bar itself. Thankfully, no physical violence occured, unless you count the woman who pushed her boyfriend/husband/baby-daddy into the moisture-extraction machine. (He didn't actually fall into it, he fell against it, and I don't think he felt anything, anyway.)
2. Meeting one of the regular bartenders, who looks all of 24 years old and is running for Congress. As a radical-left independent. He needs something like 5,000 signatures on a petition by May 1st to get on the ballot; as of two weeks ago, he had about 250.
3. Running into the same woman and her young daughter every time I go. The woman looks about 50 and the daughter is maybe 3 and a half. The woman is very protective and seems like a good mother. I always wonder what their story is, besides apparently going through an awful lot of laundry.
4. Seeing an older, down-on-his-luck-looking guy actually sleeping at the bar, waking up to order another beer, getting upset when the budding politician refused to serve him, denying that he had been asleep, and then falling immediately back to sleep again before being escorted out 20 minutes later by the cops.
5. Watching a man talk to his clothes in the dryer. As in, "It's O.K., don't worry, you'll be done soon" as he watches them spin around and around. Sometimes he would move his head around in circles too, in rhythm with the dryer--showing solidarity with the ordeal his clothes were enduring, apparently.

So, some of this might freak a lot of people out, but I find it fascinating. I often take my notebook with me and scribble down some of these striking visions into human nature/behavior. Will let you know if anything interesting happens today.