What's in a Name?

O.K., here's something new--for the first time, I'm going to mention my real name (not my Blogger name) in my blog. It's necessary for this little story. You'll see.

So, my name is Heather, in case there's anyone out there reading this who doesn't know. I've always liked my name, and I think it suits me. It doesn't even bother me that all the famous Heathers--Heather Locklear, Heather Thomas, Heather Mills--tend to be blond and a little . . . bimboesque. Nor did it bother me when the movie "Heathers" came out, depicting all of us as evil, conniving social climbers. Doesn't matter. I am my own Heather.

I've always been aware, of course, that my name is also a flower and a color--kind of a pretty, greyish purple. In fact, I own a few heather-colored items of clothing. I can live with my name being a color, but now things have gone too far. Now, apparently, my name is also an adjective. Walking through Target yesterday, I noticed a display of shirts labeled "heathered tees."

Of course, I had to stop and check this out. The shirts were not all a pretty, greyish purple--they came in a wide variety of colors. So what, exactly, made them "heathered," and more importantly, who decided this was even a word? What did it mean? I examined the shirts. The only thing different about them that I could see was that they were all kind of pre-faded out. Was that it? Great. Apparently, if something comes pre-faded, it is now referred to as "heathered." This makes no sense to me, and I feel kind of strangely, personally offended.

Advertisers are ruining the language, people. This must stop.